How to get back together after several years?

11 comments

Have you broken up several years ago but still wondering if it is possible to get back with that ex? Many times relationships don’t end up working out but circumstances can change. Other times you just become mature or are faced with certain life lessons that push you to understand mistakes that you may have committed in the past. You are left wanting a second chance because you firmly believe that your ex may be the one or simply because you strongly believe that you can both be really happy together.

You can’t make love work on a schedule. You just can’t. You can create conditions and learn experience-enhancing skills, habits, traits or other behaviors that make love most likely to happen faster, but when love happens is ultimately out of your control.

Getting back with an ex after years apart starts with your attitude and outlook.

In most cases it is possible to get back with an ex when you have a positive attitude and outlook. Even if you dated someone in high school or years ago it is still possible for you to start a new love story with that person if you set your mind to it. A simple smile, positive body language or even optimism and excitement will attract your ex once you have been able to re-establish contact.

You both will rhyme in synchronization together.

 But first you must establish a platform of communication especially years after having broken up for so many years. You need to really be back in touch and create an open platform of communication where you feel comfortable to reach out to someone without second guessing yourself . This can be hard to swallow especially if you are so used to doing things at the pace you choose and at the times you choose for the results you want. Because you’ve always, by will power, hard work and determination made things happen, you can’t help but try to somehow force love to work on your schedule and do what you want it to do.

 

In order to get to this stage you will need a bit of courage and show a genuine interest for your ex; in other words you need to provide him or her with attention to make them feel valued and be an active listener. Whether you reestablish contact via a Facebook message, in person or through an email the important thing is to show that you are genuinely interested in how they are doing and in what they’ve become. Atleast that’s what I did.  Ask him or her questions and pay attention to their answers and concerns in order to rebound on something that they may say or give more importance too and create an organic free flowing conversation.

Especially in the beginning or during the first few times that you communicate. He or she will feel your genuine interest; although you may not have talked in years it will seem as if you’ve been in contact all along. He or she will quickly start to confide in you and you will have your opportunity to re-kindle that magic again.

                                                         

The harder you try to force love to work on your schedule and do what you want it to do the more stress, frustration and unhappiness you experience. In most case, all you end up doing is coming across as pushy, manipulative, controlling, desperate and needy.

Trying to force love to work on a schedule is what sometimes makes some people think that things are not working out even when everything is really working out the way it is supposed to. Many get discouraged and begin to lose hope, and others give up because it’s taking so long. Some give up just when they were closer than they were ever before.Others take the drastic step of breaking up and cutting off all contact. But instead of feeling in control they find themselves thinking over and over about situations they have control over, and losing hours of sleep in search of that much needed but illusive “closure”.

And here is the tragic part. The way that you act and behave when things don’t go your way or when you don’t get what you want tells the other person what kind of person you will be like to live with (for the rest of their lives). And since the greatest natural relationship killer is the fear of regret , and trust issues — something your behavior may already be causing — the other person will most likely want nothing to do with you after seeing you act pushy, manipulative, controlling and/ or running away to hide instead of calmly facing the situation.  

 

Get over those issues , and make your rekindled relationship work , again. At last, all of it rests upon you , what you do next will make or break your relationship , for whom you worked this hard.

 

Advertisements

11 comments on “How to get back together after several years?”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s