– This is a work of fiction, not for weak hearted, treadle ahead with care. –
I think I have a split personality when I write, deep in thoughts, with words spilling on paper I get lost in who I am and what I am doing.
It’s like I become someone else entirely for those few moments when I write. I am terrified of her, what she is capable of doing. Her dark gruesome thoughts, inflicting pain on harmless beings without even flinching once seems natural to her. I can’t begin to explain just how dark the thoughts are. Is something wrong with me? It’s like she lives in this parallel world, similar to mine on cellular levels, only the mind setting us apart.
If what I write ever starts coming to reality then she wouldn’t hesitate to exact revenge from those who wronged her in life, maybe she will slaughter them like helpless pigs, with a knife just like a cold-blooded killer that, she is.
When I write, my mind wanders off to various places and scenarios; I think like her, talk like her and execute plans like her. In her mind(or rather mine) I killed many people, talked to psychos in mental asylums, met horrifying ghosts who thirsted for death, met with notorious criminals of all time, but all of these felt naturally normal to me. No hint of paranoia even. I often think about what will happen if I just let go of myself.
I am afraid if I become like her, I have no one to bring me back, not from this. Terrified of what I am capable of doing and what I can do if set free.
What’s wrong with her? I am slowly changing into someone whom I don’t fully recognize.
(It’s a work of fiction guys)