You know that strange aching feeling of constantly your heart being pulled in opposite directions while you feel a small tear happening.
That’s what happens when you screw up and you have to admit that you were wrong and you made a mistake. You have to apologize to that one person whom you love so dearly, yet hurt them dearly too.
We both want the same thing from our lives, but our paths were different, I forgot that.
Maybe you did something. Maybe you didn’t. Or maybe I don’t know wtf is going on with myself and I’m trying to figure it out and I am just as confused as you.
Whatever it may be, just remember there is something at the core of my being upset, but regardless, it’s not nearly as important as what we have.
Our relationship, you, us … it’s all far more important to me than whatever silliness is hindering my mood. Just promise me that you’ll always keep these little reminders in the back of your mind: I don’t love you any less, nor do I stop loving you. Just because I become irritated, annoyed, upset, or mad at you does not mean that my love for you changes. If anything, I love you more at the end of it all.
I never intentionally mean to push you away. I need you now more than ever, even if it doesn’t seem like it. I may push you away, not hug you back, make eye contact with you, or even talk to you, but it’s never ever my intentions to legitimately push you away. It’s become a natural instinct during times of pain that I subconsciously do it. But please, don’t walk away.
I may not talk to you right away, but give me time to cool down and I promise I will. It’s best for me to calm myself down before trying to talk things through. It has nothing to do with me not wanting to talk to you because trust me I do. More than you know.
I want to be with you just as much. The thought of letting you go never once crosses my mind, so please don’t ever think this. I may be upset with you or mad at you, but there’s no other person I would rather be going through tough times with. And truthfully, times aren’t even that rough with you, it’s more of a roadblock and an obstacle we have to overcome and conquer together.
So whatever happened I apologize.
In the way of wanting the best for you, I lost my way back to you. I am, truly sorry.
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